Yes.
I washed my snuggie and hung it up in my room to dry and almost had a heart attack when I woke up this morning
I think it's time I found better, more understanding, friends
Waiter: Table for four?
Friends: Only three... Abe isn't here.
Friend #1: Let's take a picture of the empty seat and send it to Abe... he's here in spirit.
Friend #1: No, let's not. He'll feel worse. Let's not mention anything about it. Trust me.
LATER THAT DAY
Me: Please say nothing about the trip, it's been a horrible day and I don't want to deal with it.
Friend #2: DUDE I SPENT SO MUCH MONEY ON THE TRIP TRAIN TICKETS RESTAURANT COMIC BOOK STORE
Me: *please die in a fiery train crash of never-ending flames where a groundhog will devour your kidneys repeatedly for the rest of eternity fuck you I hate you so much why am I even friends with you fuck you*
THE NEXT DAY
Me: We were gonna go to this record store, if you guys wanna come.
Friend #2: NOO I CAN'T I SPENT TOO MUCH MONEY ON THE TRIP OH MY GOD TRAIN TICKETS RESTAURANT COMIC BOOK STORE
Me: *fuck you I spent most of the day destroying myself and crying to death while you were out on a trip that I have been looking forward to for a month and a half and you know this and you're being a douche fuck you I never want to see you again I hope a giant bumblebee stings you and takes you to it nest where the queen bee eats you up and feeds you to her little bees fuck you fuck you fuck you*
Me every night
Me: *on tumblr*
Me: its really late I should sleep now
Me: *stays on tumblr for 5 more hours*
Man, let’s say you’re at a party, yeah? And there are people at the party that prefer cake, and people at the party who prefer pie, so the host serves both. Alright, cool.
So you go in for a slice of pie, when suddenly the host CHARGES over and goes “WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”
“I’m having some pie, man, chill.”
“What the hell? I thought you had cake last time.”
“Yeah, I did have cake last time. But I’m not feeling the cake tonight. And this is my favorite kind of pie.”
“Ohhh no. I thought you were a CAKE person and now all of a sudden you’re eating pie on me? You’re confusing me! Make up your mind!”
“What’s the big deal, even? There’s plenty of both for everyone.”
“YOU CAN’T LIKE BOTH CAKE AND PIE. YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.”
But man, fuck that guy, I’m going to have the pie anyway, who cares if I had cake last week.
And then if that pie is so good that I never want any other dessert for the rest of my life, that doesn’t mean I suddenly never liked that cake that I ate.
“
| — |
tumblr user firegrowshigher, in response to a tweet saying “Im not homophobic but i hate bisexual people with a PASSION! Like make up yo mind do you like penis or vagina? Its that simple” (via lemonyfreshvictory) This needs to be seen by everyone! (via that-queer-blog) |
